Framed Punches
by Scarpaw
Summary: The hole in the wall is framed by a modest jet-black picture frame. Underneath it, it has a similarly tasteful plaque, detailing the name and medium of the artwork. The artist's name is furiously scratched off.
So this was inspired by a tumblr post of a framed punch on someone's wall and the imagine your otp prompt of "in your otp who punches the wall and who decides to frame it". It's not exactly true to the prompt, but it meets it for the most part... This is Shizaya, and does feature what can be considered in this case an unreliable narrator, so just a heads up.

Also Christmas in March because I do what I want. Idk.

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Durarara**

 _ **Framed Punches**_

 _The hole in the wall is framed by a modest jet-black picture frame. Underneath it, it has a similarly tasteful plaque reading:_

 _Shizuo and Izaya's First Christmas Together  
Medium: Hand, Drywall_

 _The artist's name is furiously scratched off._

It is Shinra's favorite story to tell whenever someone new comes over to his apartment. Actually, he loves to tell it anyone really, regardless if they've heard the story before or not, especially when Izaya is there. Or if Shizuo is there, but it's not as fun to tell if Izaya isn't there, because his reaction is always priceless.

See, it all started last December…

* * *

"So Izaya, are you going to come to the Christmas party?" Shinra asks in the days leading up to Christmas as he stitches up the other's shoulder after either a job or a date gone wrong. Shinra isn't too sure which it is, and Izaya didn't exactly offer up the information when he came demanding to be stitched up. Probably the former, he muses though, because Izaya's not in that sour of a mood.

"Christmas party?" Izaya repeats, before scoffing lightly as he turns his head to face the opposite wall. "I thought I wasn't invited." And no, he's _not_ pouting, he's just stating facts. It's the matter of deduction; he's never invited to any of the social gatherings Shinra and Celty hold, whether it's hotpot or holiday parties.

"Normally, no!" Shinra agrees unabashedly, giving a final tug as he finishes the stitches and snips the end of the string. "But it's been decided to make an exception this time considering, you know, you and Shizuo are dating!" Ah yes, it's been a few short months since the two most dangerous men of Ikebukuro decided to put aside their differences and try their hand at being the most dangerous couple of Ikebukuro instead. To this day no one's quite certain what made them change their relationship dynamic, and neither man is forthcoming with the reason behind it.

"Oh, I see how it is," Izaya responds as flatly and carelessly as he is able to manage, like the whole situation doesn't bother him as much as Shinra knows it truly does. "Snubbed and not given an invitation every year, but as soon as Shizu-chan and I start going out everything changes." He gives an unimpressed snort, and Shinra pretends for Izaya's sake that he doesn't hear the hurt and annoyance in the other's voice. Fixing the last piece of tape in place for the bandage covering Izaya's stitches, Shinra takes a step back and lets him slip his shirt back on.

"Pretty much, yeah!" Shinra doesn't bother to deny the accusation because hey, it is true. "We figure that you'll be able to have _some_ semblance of good behavior this year if we put both you and Shizuo in the same room. I mean, not that I doubt your capability of pulling some sort of petty prank even now that you're dating Shizuo, but at least this year I don't have to worry if I'll come out of this without an apartment to live in! So, what do you say? Are you and Shizuo going to come?"

"I'd rather go swimming in Tokyo Bay," Izaya responds pleasantly as he pulls on his coat. It doesn't have too much of a bite to it, and Shinra can see it for the bluff that it is.

"I'll see you at the party on Friday!" Shinra calls after Izaya as he leaves the apartment, and he receives a one finger salute in response.

Despite all of Izaya's bravado, Shinra is unsurprised when he opens the door on Friday to see him and Shizuo at the door. They're both wearing matching Santa hats, at what probably was Shizuo's insistence, and carrying boxes of what Shinra guesses to be sweets of some sort. Izaya's scowling heavily, face red, and a long blue scarf wrapped around his neck that Shinra recognizes to be Celty's birthday gift to Shizuo this past January that's the only splash of color to his entire outfit aside from the Santa hat sitting askew on his head.

"If you keep scowling Izaya, your face is going to freeze like that!" Shinra laughs as he steps aside to let the most dangerous couple of Ikebukuro into his apartment. "Glad to see you guys could make it, Shizuo! Celty's setting things up in the kitchen, so you can take your stuff to her and see where she wants you guys to put it."

The look Shinra shoots at Izaya speaks more 'I told you so' than anything, while the one Izaya reciprocates with could have a loose interpretation of 'Burn in hell' or some other variant. Shinra makes a mental note not to accept any of the food Izaya hands him, and wonders about _that_ piece of information he has on the informant. Tonight could be a good night to bring that out, but would it be worth it? He has to debate it more.

For the most part, the evening goes without a hitch. Slowly other people who were invited show up, and by the time eight pm comes around they have the vast majority of everyone in the apartment. Shinra can tell Celty's pleased with how the evening is going, and it is quite surprising how well both Shizuo and Izaya have behaved themselves.

Honestly, with how many times Shinra's told the story, he can't quite remember the truth to how it started, what led him to say those magic words, all he knows is that he said them. One would think with how many repetitions he's given this story, he'd bother remembering what led him to set the whole inciting incident off, but, then again, that's not the fun part about the story. The magic phrase that essentially ruins the evening – or highlights it, maybe, depending on your point of view – is

"Ah, I'm so glad I didn't have to share that embarrassing middle school story of yours, Izaya."

It's an offhand comment, regardless of the underlying context behind the cause of the statement. Izaya stiffens in his seat on the couch, but his voice is relatively nonchalant when he responds to Shinra's relatively blatant threat.

"And what story would that be?" Nonchalant, but guarded at the same time. There's a subtle narrowing to his eyes that scream suspicion. "I'm fairly certain there exists no such embarrassing story."

"Are you sure of that, Izaya?" Shinra raises his eyebrows playfully in challenge, before continuing airily as he shrugs his shoulders, "I mean, of course, with how traumatic it must have been it makes sense for you to have blocked it from your memory." Izaya frowns, and the party around them is quickly quieting in interest. When Izaya doesn't say anything, against Shinra's better judgment, he presses forward. "After all, it would be bad for the great Informant of Shinjuku's reputation for people to find out he was treed by – _holy shit_!"

Shinra's completely unprepared when Izaya suddenly launches himself at his face, no doubt in an attempt to stop the underground doctor from spilling the beans. He silently thanks every god he knows for Shizuo's abnormally quick reflexes and strength that allowed him to wrap his arms around his boyfriend's waist and trap him before he could reach Shinra's face, and that allows him to hold Izaya in place as he spits furiously. Izaya struggles to get out of Shizuo's grip, and Shinra wonders why Izaya doesn't want people to know this particular piece of information so badly.

Then again, it must have been a supremely embarrassing moment for Izaya, and Shinra wonders if the incident that caused him to be treed is as amusing as actually witnessing Izaya cling to a lamppost for dear life…

"How did you even find out about that!" Izaya demands, spitting as he fights to get out of Shizuo's hold. There's murder in his eyes, and while Shinra knows that Izaya's against taking a person's life directly, he has a distinct feeling Izaya would make an exception for him.

"Ahaha, how did I?" Shinra laughs nervously, regretting bringing it up, and when someone suggests he run, he does, and not a moment too late. Izaya none-too-gently accidentally slams an elbow into Shizuo's windpipe, which causes Shizuo to inadvertently release his grip on his boyfriend. Shinra's barely out of the way by the time Izaya's leapt over the coffee table.

The whole situation is like a bizarre form of keep away, except instead of keeping a physical object away from someone else, it's Shinra trying not to be eviscerated or whatever else Izaya might have in store for him. Maybe he'd _really_ stab him, and there'd finally be truth to that whole 'Izaya stabbed Shinra' story… While Shinra would appreciate help in keeping Izaya away from him, everyone seems to have enough sense to not get between the two. The only ones who are attempting to calm the situation are Kadota and Shizuo – Kadota is trying (without success) to talk Izaya down, while Shizuo is half-heartedly trying to catch his boyfriend, who is very nimbly staying out of Shizuo's vicinity.

Shinra, unfortunately, is not helping his case by continuing to _talk_ like the absolute dumbass he is.

"Now, now Izaya!" He's mocking and, really, he must have some sort of death wish. Shinra wishes his beloved would help, but unfortunately Celty is under the impression that he deserves what's coming to him. Ah, she's probably right. And here he thought they'd be able to have a peaceful party even with Shizuo and Izaya there. "After what you went through, it's perfectly understandable to harbor a fear of –"

Now, it's no secret that Shinra, while a doctor, is not the fittest of people. Sure, he has a healthy diet and takes care of himself properly, but when it comes to exercise, he's not the fastest boy in the schoolyard. So it's a miracle that he's managed to evade Izaya as long as he has, and up until the inevitable action.

Each time Shinra tells the story, how exactly he evades it changes, what the exact phrasing that sets Izaya off is different, but the outcome remains the same regardless of what pushes him over the edge.

Arm cocked back, Izaya goes to throw an out of character punch at Shinra in an attempt to get him to shut up, and misses the doctor completely. Instead, his fist bypasses the underground doctor completely and lands on the wall. Surprisingly, there is enough force behind Izaya's punch that his fist doesn't stop when it hits the wall – no, his hand continues clear through the drywall, creating a very nice hole in Shinra's wall.

Shinra has never seen someone go red as quickly as Izaya does when the reality of what just happened dawns not only him, but everyone around them as well. He doesn't doubt that Izaya's blood pressure has just skyrocketed as laughter erupts around the room, which doesn't stop when Izaya struggles (unsuccessfully) to remove his hand from the wall. Izaya's obviously mortified, but he's composed enough – and furious enough – that he about tears off Shizuo's head when his boyfriend steps up to help detach him from the wall, laughing as well.

Still, it is signal enough that it's about time for the night to wind down and everyone take their leave. When Izaya is finally freed from the wall, his wrist hangs limply to the side, and it doesn't take a genius to know that Izaya broke it upon impact. Shinra's had enough experience witnessing Shizuo's bouts of strength and breaking his bones in elementary school to know what all types of broken bones look like. Sighing, he knows that the night is over for at least him as he takes Izaya, and Shizuo who's probably accompanying to chaperone – what a turn of roles! – the two of them, to the back room where he normally takes patients.

A half hour later he's splinting what he's announced to be a Colles fracture, much to Izaya's chagrin, along with a broken thumb. Thankfully, the pain meds Shinra gives (forces on) the other makes him lethargic, so he doesn't have to worry about any more repercussions tonight about the information he attempted to spill. Izaya's still furious regardless, the medicine not dulling that, but slow enough that when Shizuo holds him down this time he actually stops. When Shinra finishes splinting Izaya's wrist and thumb, he hands Shizuo a script for pain meds that Izaya more than likely won't take anyways, and waves goodbye as Shizuo ushers his boyfriend out the door, calling it a night.

Later, after everyone has gone home for the night and he and Celty have finished cleaning up, they both stop and stare at the hole Izaya left in their wall.

Logically, they both know that they should patch it up, and Shinra says that he'll make a call in the morning and just bill the repair to Izaya like normal. However, in the morning, before he makes the call, Celty gone on a job, Shinra gets struck with inspiration. When Celty gets home in the evening, she's not as amused as he is with his handiwork, but does admit to the sentimentality it holds, and eventually, yes, the humor as well. She's wary of the reaction it will get, but Shinra's confident he can handle whatever it is and besides, it will be worth it just to see the reaction because it will undoubtedly be priceless.

And it is –

Izaya comes in a week later with Shizuo for a check-up on his wrist, and doesn't notice the embellishment on the Kishitani residence's wall until he's been convinced to sit down to a cup of coffee, which he takes with great suspicion.

When Izaya finally _does_ notice, spitting mad and just as furious and embarrassed as a week before, Shinra finds that the loss of three coffee mugs, shattered against the wall where Izaya took potshots at his head, is worth it. The picture of Shizuo bodily restraining Izaya is great too, and is pinned between the frame and the plaque underneath it alongside the picture that Karisawa took when Izaya was struggling to remove his hand from the wall. The plaque reads:

 _Shizuo and Izaya's First Christmas  
Medium: Hand, Drywall _

(There had been a part on the plaque that read _Artist: Orihara Izaya_ , but shortly after New Years it was furiously scratched off. Shinra's just glad that Izaya didn't go and have the wall fixed behind his back.)

* * *

 _Please read and review~!_


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